04 January 2004

Mary Poppins: Saucy little minx??

As a child I used to LOVE Mary Poppins. In fact, as an adolescent I used to LOVE Mary Poppins. Nah, to be honest: I STILL love Mary Poppins. The film I mean, not the books. I have never read a single letter of the books. Sometimes I wonder why I love it so much. Is it the songs? Nah, they are cheesy at best. Is it the story? About a flying nanny? For a 20-year old student that can hardly be attractive. But what then? Is it Julie Andrews? I loved Mary Poppins even more after seeing Andrews star in Victor/Victoria(where she played a drag-king!) but after seeing The Sound of Music I hated Andrews again. So not the actress herself but maybe the women she played, in the way only Julie Andrews can.

So why have I been mesmerised by Mary Poppins for years? Maybe it is the fact that she is a very strong, determined woman. There is a distinctly butch about her I reckon. So maybe as a budding lesbian, that is why I felt Mary Poppins was way cool. (God how I love making things up as I write. I would be a great Freud: Everything relates back to sex). But I am not the only person to think of Mary Poppins as attractive: With prim, unruffled certainty and a kind of humourless deadpan twinkle, Mary Poppins is rather appealing, even quite sexy.(From: The Science Fiction, Horror and Fantasy Film Review)

And who would EVER think of Maria von Trapp being sexy? A NUN for crying out loud!! (Fantasies about nuns are a wholly different matter). I am not the only one who thinks Maria von Trapp is a far inferior nanny to Mary Poppins. Over at Grudgematch.com the result is clear:

Mary Poppins (753 - 79.5%) draws a chalk outline of Maria von Trapp (194 - 20.5%)

And as one voter says: Mary Poppins is English and supernatural. Maria von Trapp is German and not. Supernatural English women regularly send Germans running (see: "Bedknobs and Broomsticks").

And Mary Poppins has just become more attractive to me. I have just read that Mary Poppins might very well be the AntiChrist!!! For an atheist like me, that is fabulous news. I just watched a documentary about the writer of the Poppins books, P. L. Travers, who was heavily influenced by Russian spiritual leader (or crook as some other people called him) Gurdjieff. Indeed there are a lot of esotheric influences in the book. Mary has supernatural powers and some of the stuff in the books is, to say the least, a smidge deep for children. What about this:

'it may be that to eat and be eaten are the same thing in the end. My wisdom tells me that this is probably so. We are all made of the same stuff, remember, we of the Jungle, you of the City. The same substance composes us -- the tree overhead, the stone beneath us, the bird, the beast, the star -- we are all one, all moving to the same end. Remember that when you no longer remember me, my child'

Hardly the stuff for children.

But back to the original topic.
Return to this childhood classic and you may have the same disturbing discovery I had during my first post-puberty viewing of this film: Mary Poppins is hot. Why? I'm not sure, but it frightens me to think that it might have something to do with her hat. Jordan Rosa

Indeed mate. You get it. So nothing scared me more when in 1999 I read that Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice, was tapped to play a Mary Poppins-like character in a series called "A Spoon full of Sugar". Thank God it never happened. Because nobody is as un-hot as Geri Halliwell. Or Mariah Carey who famously said that she was Mary Poppins-like prude. Mary Poppins? Prude? Hah! I beg to differ. I think underneath that hat and tight buttoned jacket, there is a raging beast waiting to pop out.
Why do these so called 'hot' women want to be associated with a dull nanny like Mary Poppins. Because these women know what we all know deep inside our heart: Mary Poppins is downright HOT.

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