17 January 2004

More gay issues

And again Darren, it bewcomes a post. Sorry mate.I am just on a high horse here with an issue that is very very important to me.

I'm still unsure of how your description adds up to 24 hours a day. For example: say you're a gay programmer, and you spend, say, eight hours in front of the computer each day. How is the experience of writing code influenced by your homosexuality?

Hehehe. I am not sure it is meant that directly. Of course I don't write gay-code. I think the point I am trying to make is that it is not just something that you can switch off so you have to deal with things like the 9 tips ALL THE TIME. Anything I say about relationship, sexuality or things like that is interpreted differently than the things you say. If I tell someone I went to the movies last night, they ask: What movie? I say: Sister my Sister. They say: But that film has a lesbian-theme. Are you gay? I say: Yes. And with 2 easy questions, they know my sexuality. Yet people will always ask me why I keep volunteering that information to total strangers!!!!! Hey it is not my fault! You ask, I answer.

Tip #10 did not say that everything gay people do is related to their sexuality. I am assuming the things you do aren't either. The point is that you can not hide it without compromising your quality of life. There are a lot of people who hide it succesfully but if you ask them if they are truely happy, they will have to say no. Because if you avoid EVERYTHING that could lead people to your sexuality, you can not tell them what books you read, what films you go to, what pub you go to, who your friends are and so on. You can't tell people you have a partner because avoiding the word he or she is a pain. Because all these things *might* lead to a question about being gay. Go and try it for a day: avoid absolutely everything that could lead to a question about your sexuality. It is almost impossible. Unless you completely make a new life for yourself and lie every day. That is why so many gay people have psychiatric problems.

Hmmm...... drifting a little here. My point is that there is of course no gay-code. There isno straight code and it is ridiculous to suggest things like that. But while you are typing that code, I am assuming you talk to your colleagues about your weekendplans. Or the new house you are buying with your partner.

So when people say they don't understand what the big deal is, after all, it is only about who you sleep with, it hurts and it is blatantly untrue. Because if it was, then as long as we are not talking about sex, there wouldn't be a problem. BUt unfortunately it is. Because I am not just gay when I am in bed. I am gay when I get yelled at in the pub. I am gay when I get refused partner-benefits, I am gay when I do not get that job in a school because they do not want gay-teachers. I am gay when people keep asking me if all lesbians are like Martina Navratilova, I am gay when a priest abuses a little boy and people around me more or less suggest all gay men are pedophiles. Iam gay when once again gay people are used as a joke in ads to make straight people laugh. That is what it means. Not that my HTML is gay.

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