Bunny who?

Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk

17 February 2004

I might aswell give it up

I have been beaten. By my own girlfriend. Her blog is better and more thought provoking. People post and discuss things there. She posts: I am unsure about my feelings about bi-sexuality. And voilaƃ¡, there is a discussion.

Let me try:

I am prejudiced against fat people. When I see them eating a burger, I think, for a split second: no wonder you are fat. That is mean isn't it. The second thought is telling myself not to be predjudiced and mean, but it is too late, the deed has been done. I try to be a good girl but I admit that if Jane had been fat, I would have reacted differently to seeing her the first time (we met online). My first words to her would probably not have been: "You forgot to tell me you are gorgeous." My first thought would have been: "She's fat". I am not saying it would have meant the end of the relationship before it even started. It would have meant an extra hurdle to take.

And I am prejudiced against black/coloured people. When it is late at night and I am walking down the street, I will actively avoid walking past a group of immigrants talking in the street. And if I do pass them, I will zip my jacket up and keep my hand on my wallet. How bad is that? Where does that feeling of discomfort come from? Am I a racist? Probably.

I think it is a kind of pre-historic thing inside all of us to regard people who are different from ourselves as dangerous or strange. In pre-historic times, it used to be the first step of protection: "Strangers coming in to or camp. They look different, they don't belong here, we need to be careful."

I would never avoid meeting a coloured person. Or a fat person. I will always take the time to get to know them. Because on a personal level, on a one-to-one basis, I have no 'trouble' with fat people. Or black people. Or anybody else. I suppose that is where the difference lies between someone who is a racist of fat-phobic and someone who is trying to get rid of her own prejudices

After all, some of my best friends are fat. Or black............

Or are they...........?


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