Bunny who?

Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk

06 February 2004

A virgin again

OK, so here is the story of me still being a virgin. It revolves around the question: What is sex? As Clinton puts it, oral sex is not sex. Result: millions of young American teenagers contract STD's from oral sex, without thinking they are having sex at all.

Jane went to register with a doctor yesterday. But she had to talk to a nurse first to take her medical history. (Here in the Netherlands we have a medical history that I can take with me when I go to a new GP. Sounds reasonable doesn't it? Revolutionary idea.......not. Would save so much time and money.)

Anyway, the nurse takes medical history and the conversation comes to her sexual history. (No, no need to zap away, there are no boobs or gory details here. Nothing I would want YOU to know anyway)

The conversation went something like this...

"Do you take the pill?"
"So what do you do for contraception"
"Erm, ok, are you sexually active?"
"Yes, with a female partner"
Nurse writes down 'not sexual' in my notes. Phrase it better, please!
"So what exactly do you class as sexual intercourse?"
*condescending look*
"Penile penetration"

When Jane told me first, I laughed. Really hard. As did some of my straight colleagues. Then I told the story to some gay colleagues. And they were much less amused. And then I realised that they were right: It is pure ignorance. Sex is only penile penetration? So what happens when a lesbian goes to that doctor and has a record of 'no sexual history'? The doctor won't check for STD's because the record says that she is not sexually active. That is just one side of of the coin. More about that in the British Medical Journal.

The other is that it is simply ignorant and infuriating. Because that bith is simply saying that what I have with my partner is sub-standard, not sex and definately not worth writing down.
I am still boiling when I think about it. So I suggested Jane write a letter of complaint to that nurse. But Jane is much more docile than me. She suggested she would bring it up with the doctor next time she gors. But Jane hardly ever goes to the doctor so that might be another year or so. So Isuggested I would write the letter for her and she would send it. I should stop writing about it because it makes me more angry every day.

So what can we do that is not sex?
Lick, finger, use vibrators, dildos, strap-ons, snog................ See, that is why I am bound to remain a virgin for the rest of my life. Because I am sure that I will never be adding the word penis to that list. Hang on..................

Maybe I am the new Virgin Mary. I will have a child and still be a virgin. And my name (Marieke) is a Dutch form of Mary.....

Hail me, hail me!!!!!


Post a Comment