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Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


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Au Au Au Au Au

24 September 2004

And so it happens...my first proper rugby injury. Got stamped on by a team mate in training on Wednesday night. Not nice to have someone land on your foot with their full weight when they are wearing football boots with nice studs on them. Au Au Au!! It wasn't too bad until I was in bed later that evening. my feet (yes, both of them!!) were throbbing badly and of course there was no Ibuprofen in the house. Or any other painkiller for that matter. And with Jane gone, the pain was worse because there was nobody to help me in my moment of pain. Nobody to aknowledge I was in excruciating pain......
Tossing, turning, light on, light off, read a book, try to fall asleep, turn light back on, pain in foot, throb throb throb, 3am, 4am, 5am...oh those poor people with insomnia...how horrible.
So in the mornign I went to the doctor who told me it was bruised badly. Duh. I stayed home for a day with my foot covered in ice. I was bored stiff. So today I am back at work. Just walk a little more careful today and I will be fine. I feel like I have survived the Rite of Passage: the Rugby injury!!

And I did not really mind staying home yesterday. Wednesday I landed (AGAIN!!) in the middle of an office row. The situation:
I was doing a job, someone else was doing the same job. I suggested to the MD that maybe this was a waste of time and we should work together.. He suggested I don't tell her as she would just get upset. So on Wednesday I had to tell her I had finished designing this thing because she had finished designing hers. Of course she blew up at me for doing her work behind her back (after all, SHE is the Marketing Manager and she should be in charge of designing things etc...fair enough). I was so sick of being dropped in the middle again by the MD. I had sent him a number of emails asking him to solve the situation because I feared it would all explode once she found out I was doing the exact same job but not telling her.... he never responded. So I decided I owed him no loyalty. I explained to the lady that I had been told to keep my work a secret because it would just upset her. I had to spend some time convincing her that I was not just covering my own ass. But in the end, she is a manager, I am an asistant. If the MD tells me to do something, I have to do it, no matter how much I think it is wrong.

So I told her if she was angry about it, I was angry too and we should talk to the MD because he handled it badly. Or rather: he did not handle it at all. Seems the MD thinks it is a problem between me and this lady, that we can not work together. but in fact, the problem is not that at all. I mean, if I was that lady, I would be majorly pissed off too for people working behind my back.

I am sick of it. And that is probably why I was not concentrating at the rugby training and it got me injured after all.

On Monday, the MD is back and my direct boss has said that he wants to sort it out once and for all on Monday because he is pissed off that one of his people got more or less stitched up like this.
Yes, I love my job.


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