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Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow

Astrocytoma

About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk
 

NTHell

06 October 2004

Ever tried to get internet through NTL? Don't bother. You won't get it. It goes something like this.

Day 1
Technician comes to install internet. Installs all cables and tells me there are no modems. But a 'guy in a van' will deliver one later today, before midday.
4pm:
Ring...ring...ring...."Welcome to NTL, all our operators are busy but your call is important....etc...etc...etc..."
4:45pm:
I give up

Day 2:
9am:
Ring...ring...ring... "Welcome to NTL, all our operators are busy but your call is important....etc...etc...etc..."
9:30am:
Hello, this is John speaking how can I help?
Internet, no modem, did not come, blah blah, still waiting, But I did receive a bill in the post today, not happy.....
Yes, there is a shortage of modems in your area but I will put one in the post right away and you will have it tomorrow. If you don't get it, call me back on extension 5017.

Day 4:
8am:
Ring...ring...ring... "Welcome to NTL, this is James speaking how can I help?
What the f**k!! I did not expect to get through this quick (Run to desk to get pieces of paper)
Internet, no modem, did not come, blah blah, still waiting, But I did receive a bill in the post yesterday, not happy, was promised modem would arrive yesterday but didn't. Can I speak to John on extension 5017 please?
No, sorry, can not put you through. I will see what I can do for you.......(waiting music) yes, shortage of modems in your area. John should not have promised you a delivery date. Will see if I can get one out to you before the end of the week. If you don't get it, call me on extension 5052.

Day 6 (end of the week):
8.30am:
Ring...ring...ring... "Welcome to NTL, all our operators are busy but your call is important....etc...etc...etc..."
9.15am:
Hello this is Margaret speaking, how can I help?
Internet, no modem, did not come, blah blah, still waiting, But I did receive a bill in the post already, not happy, was promised modem would arrive 2 days ago but didn't. Can I speak to John on extension 5017 please? Or James on 5052.
No, this is the Scottish call centre so they don't work here. How can I help?
GET ME A MODEM!
Please hold and I will see what I can do....(waiting music).....I will send a courier out right now to deliver it to your house. Are you home?
No of course not, I need to work to pay for internet! Pop it through the mailbox around the back of the house.
OK, will tell him that. Bye now.


Day 9
8.30am
Ring...ring...ring... "Welcome to NTL, all our operators are busy but your call is important....etc...etc...etc..."
9.15am:
Hello this is Lynn speaking, how can I help?
Internet, no modem, did not come, blah blah, still waiting, But I did receive a bill in the post already, not happy, was promised modem would arrive 2 days ago and then it would arrive yesterday, but didn't. Can I speak to John on extension 5017 please? Or James on 5052? Or Margaret in the Scottish call centre?
No, sorry but I can maybe help you. Hold the line (waiting music). Yes, I will send one out to you today, I will call you at 4.30pm to check if it has arrived. Bye now.
5.45pm
Ring...ring...ring... "Welcome to NTL, all our operators are busy but your call is important....etc...etc...etc..."
Hello this is Jim how can I help love?

[insert entire story here] had no call back from Lynn and modem has not arrived yet. Am getting pissed off as I DID receive a letter saying my direct debit was now set up and they are sure I am enjoying my internet.
Ok Love (love?????), let me sort it out. Oh yes, there is a note on the system: if customer calls back, apologise and tell her we could not call back due to technical fault. Still not arrived? Oh dear. You must be annoyed, love.
Yes I am so solve it!!
I will put you through to the dispatch unit in Cambridge to discuss a delivery time. Bye now, Love.
(waiting music.......)

Hello Fatima speaking, how can I help?
[insert story here] Jim said you would help me out this time.
Let me check...(waiting music)....yes...ok. I have checked and we should be delivering one tomorrow. However, I will make sure the teamleader calls you in the morning to confirm that you are home.

Day 10
I am getting all excited now so I got to work this morning, waiting for the call......did not come. So at 12.30, I call the Dispatch Centre in Cambridge. After 45 minutes on hold!!!!!! I get through to a bloke whos name I can catch because as soon as I say my name, his trainer jumps in (Remember "Your calls may be monitored for training purposes". Apparently it is actually true!). I suppose it is because they are getting sick of me by now. Anyway, she asks if she can help and I explain that I am awaiting a phone call and that I thought I would be pro-active and find out myself if arrangements had been made to drop the thing off..... I get put on hold for 10 minutes...and then a bloke comes back to the phone and his only words are: They dropped it off this morning, have you not got it yet?

Thanks for the phonecall buddy!!

So in my lunch break, I drove home and as I got to my back door, I saw about 500 pigs fly!! There it was, sitting outside the house, waiting for me. Ran in to the house, tried to install internet on my computer...no such luck as it does not allow for installation on a Dutch Windows system, only English. Fuck. So I tried it on J.'s computer. That works. Up to the point where I need to fill in my home telephone number. I do not have a landline. And so it does not accept my registration....I think I will call the helpdesk again. I am building relationships there. I can now choose to speak to either

John, James, Margaret, Lynn, Jim, Fatima and two people at Dispatch.....


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