Bunny who?

Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow

Astrocytoma

About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk
 

Fuck

30 June 2004

Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck

Excuse my French

The goals were great. All three of them actually. Just as well that I wasn't in Holland. If I had been surrounded by Dutch people, I would have cried. Now J. quietly took me home. Bugger.
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Footie maddness

Semi-final tonight. Will be beat Portugal? I don’t think so but one can only hope. I will be in Holland this weekend so if we do make the final, it will be fabulous to be amongst Dutch people watching it. I vividly remember 1988 when we won it.  It was a special night. Everyone who had anything orange ran on to the street. I remember waving an orange ashtray around for the whole time. It was the only thing I could find.....apart from the bed sheet that I wrapped myself in that was also orange.........

 

It would be so cool if we won it again. But hey, I am having a great time with the Czech Republic. I ‘have’ them in the office sweepstake so I am already making money. £20 if they get the title. Not bad really.

 

I know, too much football on this website and not enough useful and informative posting. Well, here’s a snippet of info for you: J. and I are hopefully signing the rent for our wonderful little flat on Wednesday. Finally I will be moving in with J. Yippie. No more sharing with good friends. But my own place. Decorated to my own taste. Luckily enough, J. and I have a very similar taste in decoration.......

 

Now for this meeting....

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We made it

24 June 2004

SO we made it through. We will play Sweden in the quarter finals on Saturday. Last night was the most nerve wrecking night I can remember in a long time. Radio no my ear to listen to the Holland-Latvia match and watching Germany-Czech Republic on TV. We drove to J's parents to be able to watch Holland play but I soon realised they would win their match so it was more important to watch Germany loose theirs. Killing. Knowing that no matter how good you play, it depends on an other team if you go through. But thank God the Czech Republic went for the victory, even though they did not need it.

My reward? A Dutch football shirt that J. is getting me. The nice white away-strip. Cool.
Yes. I am opportunistic: if Holland loose, it is 'they'. If they win, it is 'we'. That's life.
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Trial Post

23 June 2004

Oh how I love this new Blogger e-mail posting feature. Now I can post without having to open Internet Explorer (which is heavily monitored here......) Tonight Holland (or actually, The Netherlands!) play Latvia. And tonight we hope Germany loose to the Czech Republic. But I don’t have a lot of hope to be honest. But please, let’s go out fighting. That match here is shown on ITV1 and the Holland match is shown on ITV2. Problem: You can only get ITV2 if you have digital TV. Bugger. Solution: J.’s parents have digital TV. So I am leaving work a little early today to make the 1 hour drive to my parents in law so we can watch the game. I am taking my world reciever radio with me so I can hear Dutch radio. Geez I am nervous. I have not given up hope just yet. All depends on the Czech Republic. They promised to do their sportive duty. But what if Germany score 10 minutes before time? Will they still go and give a little extra energy to achieve a draw that is no use to them? I don’t think so. So the important thing is for them to score 2 or 3 goals really early on in the match.

 

Go Holland. And oh, sack the coach. Regardless of the result. If Arjan Robben plays badly tonight, Advocaat will use that to get his own back. He will say: See, Arjan was not ready for a full match yet, I was right to take him off.

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Incredible

20 June 2004

You are playing football no a Saturday night in a EUropean CHampionship. THings are going really well; lots of attacknig play, you are leading 2-0 and you are as good as in the Quarter Finals. As a national coach, what more can you want?
Over the past few weeks/months, the Dutch press has done nothing but slaughter you and try to make you look like a bad coach who does not know what he is doing. There you are, things are looking up, the stadium in Portugal is full of Orange people, the team is winning. That should show them who is boss.
YOU are the only one who gets to decide who plays, not the press. You'll show them. So in a flash of anger, you take your best player off the pitch! That will show them who is boss!!

As the 4th official holds up the sign with num ber 19 in the air, Arjan Robben does not believe his eyes. Nor does the rest of the world. The best man on the pitch. The Czech players are almost dancing with joy now they are relieved of that pain of a man on the left flank. You bring on a midfielder to 'consolidate'.

Minutes later, the team is competely lost, system's gone out of the window and at the end of the match, the scoreboard shows 2-3 for the Czech republic. Holland will most likely go home. The press will slaughter you the next day (thank God Holland does not have SUnday papers). But YOU know you were right. It was not your fault. Your players failed you yet again. It wasn't you. It never is. Never has been. Never will be. You don't make mistakes.

And that is what you tell the world at the press conference afterwards. You tell the world Robben was not fit and you were afraid that he might not last the match. No, RObben had not indicated at all that he was tired or wanted to come off. It was just a thought you had. And since you are the boss, the players should simply listen to you.

Thanks Dick. I don't think we ever had a coach that honoures his name so much.
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Blog at work

16 June 2004

Oh dear. THey have upgraded the internet connection at work. Now I can blog from there as well. Not good, not good. But since it is lunch time now......

The Netherlands scraped a draw from the match against Germany yesterday. Quite crap if you ask me. I have no expectations of this Dutch team. They are shite and most of all, the coach does not know what he wants. A major tournament is NOT the time to try out a different system for your team to play. You do that in the run up. But hey, we lost to Belgium and Ireland in the run-up to Euro 2004. Yes, 2 countries that are not even IN the tournament. A good start you would think. Not.

And still, I will watch every match, clad in Orange, cheering them on and cry if they win the European Championships. Which they won't. Thank god some of the older players are retiring after this tournament. I don't mind not winning prizes for a few years if it means giving the young lads time to grow and learn, only to become stronger once they get down to the Real Thing.

Now for some lunch.
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House Hunt

12 June 2004

J's exams have almost finished. Only one more and she is doing it at this very moment. Yes indeed, on a Saturday. How cruel is that? Anyway, I am immensely proud of her and I am glad itis over. Next year she will start the business part of her maths and Business course and no more nasty maths. I hope next year she and I can actually talk about what she does in university without me throwing a fit because I don't understand maths.

Anyway. To celebrate, went out and bought her a present. What??!! I hear you ask. Tell us what you bought your girl!! Well........ I bought her a Bialetti Coffee Maker. My Italian brother-in-law introduced them into my family and now that I live with an Italian landlady (coincidence huh?) Jane has come to knwo them aswell and she loves her tiny little cup of Espresso. I hate coffee but I love making Jane happy. So I went out and bought her a Bialetti all for herself. And some coffee. And 2 tiny espresso cups. Oh, and of course a ring for on the gas cooker so she can use it everywhere.

We are also hunting for a place to live next year. Or rather, next academic year so that would be from August on. I am feeling totally cool and confident about the living together thing and I am sooo looking forward to it. But renting here seems to be quite stressful. They need a credit check for the past 3 years but they can not do one for me since I haev not lived her for more than 2 months. So maybe or maybe not we can rent something in uor joint names. Otherwise J's parents will have to be guarantors for both of us and I would really like to aviod that happening. Independence baby yeah!!
We spotted a nice basement flat not far fmo town centre for a mere 500 pounds a month. Much lighter than we thought it would be ut still unmistakably a basement flat. It is big, in a lovely street, close to town centre. Basically, we want it. I can see us living there. I can see this whole life-thing going well for me here. Yeah. I am a happy bunny at the moment.

Now for those salary negociations......
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Newseum.org

05 June 2004

My nwe-found treasure: newseum.org. A website jampacked full of fabulous newsstories, political cartoons, stories of the century, PDF-files of the frontpages of some 300 US and International newspapers (updated daily!!!!!). I can spend hours there. BUt am rationing myself to an hour a day. And even that will only be at the weekends when I can use J.'s computer. Go..go...what are you waiting for? Have a look. Now. Before you will have to start paying for it.
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International Organization of Heterosexual Rights

Usually this makes me laugh. But sometimes it makes me really sad. The International Organization of Heterosexual Rights (no link because they are bastards) has a website with statistics about gays. Nice and one sided. And the website is full of examples how homosexuals have an agenda and so on. The thing is, you can not check most of their 'statistics'.

How about this one:
The median age of death of lesbians is 45 (only 24% live past age 65). The median age of death of a married heterosexual woman is 79.
. I don't believe that for a second. It is bullshit. But there is no way to check becasue these people quote only from their own Christian hate-filled 'research' so it is hardly objective.

All right then, I will give you the link: Homesexual statistics. It is of course easy to say things like: gay men are more likely to be child molesters when you call a boy of 19 a child. Let's forget the fact that straight kids have sex frmo the age of 12 these days.

THese people take everything seriously. They don't see when 'we' take the mickey out of them: Because homosexuals can't reproduce naturally, they resort to recruiting children. Homosexuals can be heard chanting "TEN PERCENT IS NOT ENOUGH, RECRUIT, RECRUIT, RECRUIT" in their homosexual parades. A group called the "Lesbian Avengers" prides itself on trying to recruit young girls. They print "WE RECRUIT" on their literature. Only those who are seriously ill would believe this is actually serious. After all, the gay community is fighting for the recognitino of homosexuality being something you are born with. if you are born gay, there is no use in trying to recruit straight kids. But hey, that is too much thinking for the average straight hate-driven Christian.

By the way...don't heterosexuals have ALL the rights? What rights are they fighting for exactly?
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No more ER

02 June 2004

Tonight is the last ER episode of this season. Will Kerry get her son back or will her homophobe ex-girlfriend's family get their way? There was a time when I really cared. But not anymore. My interest in ER is severely suffering frmo the lack of interenet facilities at my house.

Speaking of which....J. and I have now started to have a serious look at flats and apartments in Leamington. We are aiming for a simple 1-bedroom apartment to get us started. if it turns out we have enough money for a bigger one, we can always upgrade. I can't wait to live in MY house. My own place. FOr the first time in my life, I will be living in something else than shared accomodation. It will be quite the experience. And for the first time in my life, I will be living together with my partner. I mean properly living together...shared bank accounts, paying money every month towards rent and food, buying furniture together. Kind of cool.

J. and I were so excited about moving in together last month, we wanted to buy something for our nwe place. But since we don't have a new place yet, we settled for a wonderful dark blue new duvet cover. Kind of sad really.
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