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My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


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And so we go on...

27 September 2005

This weekend, Old Leamingtonians Women booked their second win of the season. 39-0. That was good because last weekend we beat Tewkesbury 44-0.

Even better: I scored my first try ever. Never scored one in a match. Not in a friendly either. So I was well please to score the first one of the day on Sunday.

It is a strange feeling when you know you are about to score. I can not understand why people can fail in front of an open goal. I picked the ball up from the floor and ran towards the line. Well, not a lot of running really as there were three players between me and the line so I had to wrestle my way past them. Suddenly there was this weird feeling of: Oh my God, I could score here if I do this right (these thougths are not articulated thoughts, but an instant sensation that lasts less than a second. But that second can be enough to take your focus away fom the task ahead.

I pushed past the defenders and then I was tackled just before reaching the line. I was bloody well not going to fail with only an inch between me and the line!! So I stretched my arm out as far as I could but I felt I was still short. (To be honest, I don't know if in rugby, the ball needs to be completely across the line or just more than half way).

The Laws of the game say the ball must be placed across the line in one single motion. So no putting it down and pushing it further across the line. And as I put the ball down, I wasn't sure if I had crossed the line so I stretched a little further and rolled the ball another half-inch, across the line.

I am not sure if that was legal but the ref gave the try and the girl who tackled me said: Well scored.

I was well pleased with myself and jumped up and down, screaming: I scored, I scored!!!!

Nice of the opposition girl to say that it was a nice score.

Shame I still hate my job. Otherwise my life would be perfect. My annual appraisal is coming up and I have to fill out a form about hw I feel I have performed and how I feel about my job. It reads like a Tracy Chapman album sounds: depressing, depressing and more depressing.

Humbug. Oh well, at least I can look forward, hopefully, to a snow holiday with some girls from the rugby team next year. If JD can get the time off Uni and I can get the time of my, hopefully new, job.


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