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My experience of dealing with grief as a widow

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About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk
 

Little Britain

24 November 2005

Everybody is offended by everything these days it seems. People are no longer able to see the humour in something. And they are unable to just let things go and ignore them.

The very very popular show Little Britain has offended incontinent people and children of mixed race. And all in one episode. After it had already offended gays and old people in previous episodes. How were all these people offended? By being portrayed in a groosly exagerated manner. It is called comedy.

What did they do?

Take Daffyd. He claims to be 'the only gay in the village' when he blatently is not. He is fat, feminine and funny. Surrounded by gay men, he still claims they are not really gay because he is the only gay in the village. Obviously it is a spoof of all those gay people who feel very sorry for themselves instead of getting on with life.
And now of course gay men are offended. They are afraid they will be a laughing stock. Really?

Or Ting Tong and Dudley. The sad sap has ordered a Thai mail order bride who is not quite what he expected. She is butt ugly. He tries to get rid of her. There have been complaints from some organisation for mixed-race couples. THey fear that kids of Thai-English couples, or any other mixed-race couples for that matter, will now have to suffer abuse because other kids will say: "Your mother is Ting Tong!!" He is sorry to see that Little Britain did not take these sensitive issues into account.

And then there is the lady who can not control her bladder. She relieves herself everywhere. In the shops, on the street, at other people's homes. Wherever she happens to stand, she pees whilst being totally oblivious to it herself. Lesley Woolnough, executive director of Incontact, said the sketch was offensive and in poor taste.

"People with incontinence are often ridiculed, but it is not a joke, and the condition can be life-destroying for many older people.

"The comedy sketch by Little Britain shown this week depicting an older lady wetting herself openly in a supermarket was in poor taste, and for many of our 15,000 members particularly offensive."


Oh please people. Get over it. Let it go. Nobody KNOWS you are incontinent right? So nobody will laugh at you in the supermarket. Whatever happend to just ignoring all these things and not getting so bloody touchy? These characters are larger than life and are very much unrealistic.It is grotesk. No connection to reality.

To all those people who are easily offended because of their religion, sexuality, medical problem, race or whatever, I say a big Fuck Off. Get a life.
Keep Reading: "Little Britain"

How to alianate your population

In Rotterdam, a local counciller has suggested that, to help the Muslims in ROtterdam, the council should put up signs that point towards Mekka. He argues that this would make the Muslims in Rotterdam feel more accepted in society and it would help them with their prayers as they no longer have to try and find out where Mekka is exactly.

Right.

This man is obviously out of his mind. He saw these signs when he was in Saudi Arabia. For the record: That is a Muslim country. He feels the Dutch people should do this for their Muslim compatriots. Fuck off. This guy clearly has no idea of the sensibilities of the moment. Political Correctness is the most hated term in any language at the moment. I think youwould be hard pressed to find a majority of the people in favour of this. Even Muslims would most likely understand that this is not the right time to suggest these things.


Get a life people. Get the important things sorted first.
Keep Reading: "How to alianate your population"

Selling yourself

22 November 2005

I hate job interviews. They are so fake. And as far as I am concerned, they encourage people to be fake.

First of all, you are more or less expected to wear a suit. Why? Because everybody else does and so you do not want to look less dressed than the other people. Because apparently, not wearing a suit means you do not care enough about the job to dress up nice for it. JD tried to discuss this with me last night but I did not feel like going in to a deep discussion. But she is right.

When someone gives you a CV of a candidate, that CV should tell you if they are capable to do the job. On that basis you invite them. You check with their current employers and they will tell you if they can do the job or not. So when someone comes for an interview, in my opinion, the interview serves merely as a way to find out if the person has the right personality.

Agencies tell you to turn negatives in to positives. You know, when they ask: What are your weak points? You are then supposed to turn something rotten about yourself in to something nice. For example. Impatience. You are supposed to say that you like to get going and that you like to get things moving.

As if the interviewer does not see straight through that!! Why not save yourself the effort and simply say: I can be impatient. After all, that is what the guy across the table is thinking as well.

Why are you supposed to turn yourself into something you are not? It just turns the whole thing into an exercise of who has the smarmiest mouth, rather than who has the best skills. Nobody is perfect so making yourself sound like all your things are positive just makes you look like a tosser in my book.

So today in my interview, when they asked me what I disliked in a manager, I said: "I know I am supposed to turn ALL negatives in to a positive, but I simply do not like an indecisive manager. I can put a spin on that and make it sound positive but I am sure you would see straight through that. After all, that is your job during an interview." They smiled and said: Refreshing.

I don't know if that kind of honesty is good or bad. But I just get sick of being a fake. If my CV is not good enough, don't invite me. If it is good enough, then don't force me to answer questions in a dishonest way. Why can you not just be honest in an interview and say: These are my weak points but I am always ready to learn and improve?

Who decided that is a silly thing to say? Who decided that only a suit shows that you are up to the job? And why does nobody have the guts to break that mould? On both sides. The employer thinks: I like that person but a little unconventional. And the candidate thinks: I woud like to distinguish myself but not too much because that might put them off.

Now that everyone has been bullied in to turning all negatives in to positives, those who are open and honest about their good and bad sides are seen as weak and unable to sell themselves.

It really pisses me off.
Keep Reading: "Selling yourself"

Good days, bad days.

16 November 2005

Australia have made it to the World Cup football next year with the help of their Dutch coach Guus Hiddink, who also got South Korea to the semi-finals of the last World Cup.

That is good.

I went to see England vs Australia at Twickenham and England won. Totally fabulous match, some great rugby and a nice day out in London with JD, finished off with a nice Italian dinner.

That was good.

Lost out on another job today. Had interview but they don’t want me.

That is not good.

Especially since it seems that something in my personality puts them off. After all, this is the 5th time I have been to an interview where they said: Your CV is interesting, tell me more. And then, at the end of a nice conversation, I get told they did not pick me. Why? Am I too enthusiastic? Too chatty? Too ‘me’? Don’t know. I ask for feedback but never get any.

I fear I may be stuck here for the rest of my fucking life.

That is not good. In fact, that is very bad.
Keep Reading: "Good days, bad days."

Go where you are wanted

10 November 2005

I consider myself a pretty openminded, welcoming person. I feel that the world does not belong to anyone so people shoudl be allowed to move wherever they want to move to.
However, I do not understand why people would move to a place, then compain about it and try to turn it into a different place that actually already exists.

So, with Islamic extremists who would like to turn Western countries into Islamic Republics, I have a problem. After all, there are plenty of other countries in the world that have Islamic law. So why try to change the laws of a country that has taken you in when you ran away from elsewhere? If I am unhappy in Holland about erhm.....the attitude to gay people, I will try to change that attitude but after a while, I would give up and move to a country with better gay rights (bad example but you get the point).

So I was pleased to read the comments of the Australian Treasurer, Peter Costello, who, as one of the first politicians, said what I feel:

"There are Islamic states around the world that practice Sharia law, and if that is your object, you may well be more at home in such a country than trying to turn Australia into one of those countries - because it is not going to happen."

See, this question has alays bugged me. I am a reasonable person, if I move to England and I don't like England, I won't try to change England fundamentally. I will simply move to a different country.
Keep Reading: "Go where you are wanted"

Holy matrimony?

08 November 2005

When a celebrity has a relationship, it is all over the news. When they break up, it is all over the news. When they find a new love, it is all over the news. This generally makes them look like butterflies who just go from one lover to the next, declaring that this one is the real one.
If you look at your own life, you are likely to find that you are no different really. Just that nobody reads about your love life and nobody says: A new lover? But they only split up a few months ago.

However, I do wonder sometimes what it is with celebrities and marriage. This morning I read in the paper that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are getting married. Not to each other of course but to their new partners. Pitt has been seeing Angelina Jolie since the day he split up from Aniston. And Aniston has been seeing some new beau for a few months now it seems.

But how many people get married after seeing someone only for a few months? Is it me or does that kind of thing seem to happen more with celebrities than with you and me? It seems to me that a disproportionate number of celebs tie the knot after seeing someone only for a few months.

Is it because their media exposure makes them lose all perspective of what real attention is? Is it because they get so much shallow love from their fans etc that as soon as they fall in love, they think it is the real thing and will surely last forever?

I know it is none of my business what someone else does but it actually annoys me a little when I read about yet another celeb getting married after 3 months dating. Then another 4 months down the line, they divorce again.

Renee Zellwegger and Kenny Chesney managed 3 months after declaring they had different expectation of the objective of the marriage and were filing for divorce. Different objective? What objective? Isn't it that you marry someone when you love them and for no other reason? Of course it could be that one of them wanted kids and the other said: No way!! But don't you discuss that kind of stuff BEFORE you get married? I would never get married unless The Kid Thing was discussed and agreed upon.

Britney Spears gets drunk in Las Vegas and marries some boy she knew form school. She then gets a divorce within 72 hours and declares she believes in the holy sanctimony of marriage and she is sorry for the mistake. I am sure she is not the only one who goes to Vegas and comes back married.

But in a country where the words Gay and Marriage are likely to cause offence if uttered in the same sentence, this kind of thing is really a bit rich. Stories like this do a lot more damage to the 'sacred bond' of marriage than 2 loving gay people wanting to get married because they love each other and want to share their lives together.

If currently in the US about 50% of marriages ends in divorce, is that not because people just get married in a moment of impulsiveness without thinking of the consequences? Sure it is. So how can gay people be a danger to marriage when straight folk are doing an excellent job on a daily basis, destroying the reputation of marriage and making it look like something you do on a Saturday afternoon whilst shopping at Tesco?
Keep Reading: "Holy matrimony?"

Getting older

02 November 2005

I don't like getting older. Where is the cut off point where you no longer look at your future but back at what you (could) have done in life?

At what point is the thought of going back to University to get a better job later on no longer something you 'should' seriously consider?
Keep Reading: "Getting older"

Au Au Au Au!!

Played well last Sunday against Worcester II and even scored my 2nd try of my carreer. It is kind of sweet to score the only try of the match. Shame it did not help us to a victory. Still top of the league with Old Leamingtonians Ladies but I don't think it will be for much longer. Played 5, won 3. Much better than last year but if we want to go for promotion, we will need to work a lot harder.

I am covered in bruises. More so than any match I can remember. Usually I end up with one really large bruise per match or so. This time however, I am coverd in smaller, really painful bruises. I realise that this time, instead of having a single painful encounter with something hard, I have stud marks all over my legs and arms.

The most painful one is my wrist. At some point I was at the bottom of a ruck and someone stamped on the inside of my wrist. Thank goodness the studs only scraped the side of my arm. I don't really want to think about what could have happened if the stud had hit me in the middle of my wrist: broken bones, burst blood vessels???
But the inside of my wrist now has a big black bruise on it and it hurts like hell. Especially when typing all day at work a they obviously hit the muscle of my ring/pinky finger.

I am 30 now. I love rugby. I am quite sad I did not start playing earlier as 35 really seems to be the age where you need to start thinking about retirement for the game. Mothers, let your daughters play rugby. It is fun and it is good for them.
Keep Reading: "Au Au Au Au!!"