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Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk

New boss 2

05 April 2006

How much can your boss dictate how you work?

As an administrator, I understand that my boss can tell me what to do. But can they also dictate HOW I do it? If the end result is exactly the same, can X tell me how to get to that result? Or am I allowed to argue about that and state that I will do it my way?

Last week, my new boss X and I worked on a big tender document. X asked me to prepare a certain part of it. I went to work and when I had gathered all the info, I wanted her to check it, before putting it together in its final version.

I showed it her and she went ballistic: This is not what I asked you to do.....

I explained that I merely wanted her to look at the information I had gathered. Was this what she was looking for, am I on the right track? If so, then I would start putting it in the format that she wanted.

She kept on saying that I had not listened to her. I kept on saying that I was not showing her the END of the process, but merely an inbetween stage, to touch base and see if my info was correct.

She kept on and on about how this was not what she asked me to do. I got flustered and red and asked her to please let me FINISH my explanation and hear me out before telling me it was all wrong. It took me about 10 minutes before she even let me explain what I had been working on and how she needed to interpret it. (Just so you know, the argument revolved around something as banal as answering all the questions in the tender document whilst leaving the questions IN with the responses or taking the questions out. I left the questions in whilst pulling together my draft version, so that I could keep track of which ones were still left to answer)

I was close to crying out of frustration when she eventually started to read what I had written, shaking her head all the time about how confusing my method was and how she would not do it like that.

A few of the points I had addressed were things SHE had forgotten to address in her work so just as well that I had answered the questions one by one, making sure everything was addressed. I tiny tiny vindication for me although she did not aknowledge this.

At the end of the day, the document was finished on time, looking the way she had wanted it. She then said: I am sorry it was such a struggle for you today. Next time when you do this kind of thing, just do it like I told you to do. That is much easier because I do it X, Y, Z....blah blah blah.

I started to explain that I felt more comfortable doing it my way because it made me feel in control of my work. Her look and subsequent sigh indicated that she was thinking: Ah, she is disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing again. She really made me feel like I was being unreasonable for wanting to do something MY way.

In the end, I gave up and just went home.

Once again, I felt totally put down.


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