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05 May 2006


My impending marriage does not exclude me from casting an appreciative eye at the TV whenever Doctor Tanya Byron appears.

Thankfully JD agrees with me on this one. And so it is that we find ourselves watching an hour of reality TV about how to solve behavioural problems in children. Every day at 8pm, on BBC3: The House of Tiny Tearaways. 3 families with badly behaved kids move in to the house with Dr. Tanya for a week (HELLOOOOOO) and she helps them sort out the problems. Like Big Brother, there are cameras everywhere. (But not in Dr. Tanya's room…. :( And at first I thought I was imagining it (no pun intended) but after a few shots, JD and I are convinced that the camera regularly makes shots of Tanya that show her...erhm...assets in a very favourable light. SHots that really have no place in a show about child pshychology (but shots without which JD and I, and half the lesbian world) would not even bother to watch the show. I mean, who cares about kid anyway?)

Unfortunately she is married (Oh well, can’t have it all). JD and I watch almost every day, commenting on her outfit ("oooh...BAD, BAD skirt..." "NICE jeans Dr. Tanya!!").

Oh, and in the process, we have also learned how to raise children: Treat them like dogs. It really works: Give them freedom and they will be unhappy. Give them clear rules, expectations and boundaries and they will be happy.

Every day I am amazed at parents who swear and scream at their kids and then despair at their bad behaviour. Or parents who give in to the kids all the time and then complain about their demanding attitude. Example: Last month, a 5 year old boy who did not eat anything but yoghurt. His folks gave him 40 (yes, FOURTY) pots of fruit yoghurt per day. It was all he would eat. And so Dr. Tanya set to work and made progress. For every time he would eat a new kind of food, he would be rewarded with a yoghurt. And what do the parents do? They reward him by giving him 4 pots of yoghurt at the same time!! Instead of just the one. Are these people thick? And the number of people who are quietly sabotaging our lovely Doctor by not sticking to the rules because they feel the rules are too strict and their poor baby can not cope with being ignored during a tantrum...

AARRRGGGGHHHHH

But thankfully Dr. Tanya will solve all your problems and she will save the world one day. JD and I are thinking about having a child and spoiling it so that we can go to the House of Tiny Tearaways as well and tell Dr. Tanya of our problems.

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