21 June 2006

I didn't get it

Unsurprisingly I did not get the job. They offered to give me feedback but I am afraid to call them. I am afraid I will try to argue with them about why I said what I said and why I think I really should be given a chance. I should just listen and try to see the positives I guess. But why did they ask me to come back, tell me I would have had the job the first time around if the other person had not accepted it? Why get my hopes up if I did not really get a chance? Or did I really do so extrordinarily badly this time that all the positive things from the first interview were forgotten?

They only advertised on their website and internally and got 3 internal candidates. I assume one of them got the job. If this is about my lack of industry specific knowledge, then I wonder why the hell they asked me back in the first place as they knew this was the case.

I guess I should not be angry until I know the reasons. But I am not sure they will give me the REAL reasons. And I am not sure I want to know because I am afraid it has something to do with the ADHD (we think you might be too direct, we think you might get bored, we think you may struggle organising your work load, we think......)

I am angry that they got my hopes up, I am angry that I didn't get it but I am more angry because I feel I am not given a chance to prove that I really CAN do it.

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