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Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


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You think you matter to people? Think again...

12 August 2007

Time for a moment of childish disappointment but disappointment never the less.

To those 7 people who remembered my birthday (This figure includes my parents, my partner, my colleagues and my grandmother!): Thanks.
To those who forgot (Just about eveybody else I know): Thanks for nothing.

There are some people I will 'forgive' for not remembering. My sister just had a baby so she is busy. My aunties and uncles I hardly speak to anyway as I don't send cards or call them for their birthdays either either. So I am not too fussed about that.

But of the 25 girls from the rugby team for example, only 2 remembered or bothered to remember. I always send people at least a text message for their birthday.

I have recently decided to join a different rugby club. One that is not an hour driving from where I live now. One that is only 15 minutes away. So I told people of Old Leamingtonians RFC that I was leaving. How many people replied to that email to say anything nice or even just to say goodbye? 2 people. One who is no longer a player there anyway!

So I am feeling much better about leaving the club because it seems nobody cares anyway. I must have been crazy to think that being treasurer (Leaving the team with £1,200 in the account) and PR secretary (having generated more newspaper coverage than just about anyone else ever), creating and maintaining a completely new, fantastic club website that everyone is enthusiastic about was worth something to people. I was wrong. Fine. I don't need people to tell me how fantastic I am (I'm not, really!) but it would be nice if some people would have bothered to send me a note or at least give me the feeling I have done good things for the team.

Call me childish but if nobody botheres to say goodbye and if nobody bothers to remember your birthday, it might be a sign that it was time to go anyway.

I am actually looking forward to playing for a new club and just focus on playing rugby for a while, without getting involved in the politics of things. But knowing myself, I'll soon offer to help out with things here and there. Oh well, at least I won't have to drive for an hour to get to the club anymore.
Old Leams will always have a special place with me. It was the first team I played rugby for. It was the first time I really played a team sport and felt part of a team. It was the first time I actually won a title! But now it is time to move on. And the past few days have only showed me that now is as good a time as ever. If that makes me sound childish, so be it.Perhaps it is that time of the month. Or perhaps it is just me. Whatever.


Nancy said...

Nog gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag! Het is niet kinderachtig wat je schreef, ik kan mij voorstellen dat het naar is als je zo hard werkt voor iets en dat gebeurt er wat er gebeurde. Tijd voor een frisse start!
PS: Als JD je verjaardag was vergeten, dan was ze in grote problemen:O):O)

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