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Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk

I feel the earth move...

27 February 2008

Funny how things take on a different meaning sometimes. Last night, England was shaking with an earthquake that measured 5.3 on the Richter scale. I have never felt an earthquake before and I was out of bed in a flash (I am talking within 2 seconds, upright, out of bed and wide awake). I don't like quakes when living on the top floor in a flat.

Anyway, in a week of earth shattering events, the quake last night seemed somehow appropriate.

JD's father died on Saturday night after having been ill on and off for the past few months.

Yesterday, we were told by the neurosurgeon that JD's brain scan has thrown up some questions about the tumour perhaps, slightly, maybe, changing size. He said it was almost negligible and nothing to worry about but in an already emotional week, we just wanted to hear him say: "We looked at your MRI scan and there is nothing to see. See you for another check up in a year. Goodbye." We did not want to hear him say that he will discuss the scan with his colleagues and see if they need to do a biopsy. Basically, one of the doctors says he has noticed a tiny difference between the latest scans and the ones done last year. JD's own neurosurgeon says he can not see any difference hence it will need to be discussed with other doctors. It may not be much, but it is still not the same as "No change".

Damn. It breaks my heart to see JD so sad. I would prefer it if she just cried all day or something. A clear emotion. But she is just quiet and sad. I wish I could make it all go away.


Ria said...

Gelukkig goed afgelopen,heb je niet de hele dag verdwaasd rondgelopen?
Het lijkt me zo onwerkelijk.

Voor J.D veel sterkte wat betreft haar vader.
Ik kan me voorstellen dat ze zich ook zorgen maakt vanwege die scan,voor je zeker wwet dat er definitief niets veranderd is lijkt het de hele dag mee te spelen in je gedachten.
Als partner voel je je dan ook zo machteloos .
Hopelijk duurt het niet te lang voor jullie wat meer weten.

Nancy said...

Tjee, wat naar allemaal. Gecondoleerd met JDS vader. Hoop dat de scan toch goed blijkt te zijn en dat er niets aan de hand is.

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