29 June 2008

I am a nurse, you dozy bitch!

I always laugh when people try to get what they want by using the equivalent of "Do you know who I am??!!" I always feel that only the most desperate losers say that when nobody wants to pay attention to them or when they have a genuine inferiority complex.

Yesterday JD and I were crossing the road and suddenly a car turned the corner, right in to my path, without indicating. I could have stopped but since the driver was in the wrong, I kept on walking and she had to stop to avoid running me over. I pointed at the front of her car, smiled and said, in my nicest voice: "Use your indicator next time please."

Next thing I knew, the car window came down and the driver leaned towards me, shouting: "I am a nurse you dozy bitch!" I smiled at her and said, once again in my friendliest voice, dripping with that kind of niceness that makes people's blood boil: "That doesn't mean you do not have to use your indicator when you turn a corner. Have a nice day now, bye." She ranted on some more, and then nearly ran in to JD who had started to cross the road as well, since the nurse was spending her time shouting at me. She then shouted "Fucking Lesbian" at JD who, remember, was not involved in the incident at all, and drove off.

Why did she get so angry, and more intriguingly, why did she say: "I am a nurse you know!". Was that the best she could come up with? Is ther some law in England that exempts nurses from having to use their indicators when they turn corners?

JD & I had a nice afternoon laughing about it all, making up excuses as to why the Nice nurse got so angry. Glad I am not her patient!

25 June 2008

Triple Towers

I think I spend to much time playing Triple Towers in the pub at lunch time. How do I know? Well, look at the scoreboard. It is all me. Oops....Now I could of course spend my lunch time sitting outside in the front garden on the lovely new picnic bench we bought (and which I put together yesterday. Flatpack Rulez!) but that would be too sensible really. and too relaxing. and that would make me look lazy. Or something like that.

21 June 2008

Holland? Euro 2008? Huh?

Was there a football tournament going on? Really? Where? I did not notice it. Holland played in it? Really? How did they do? They lost to Russia in the Quarter Finals? Wow, I never knew. But then again, I never really pay much attention to football anyway. Could all have passed me by completely.

17 June 2008

BBC says: Gay on the brain!

I have always said that I feel lesbian brains are probably related to straight male brains and queer brains are related to straight female brains. Of course this is completely politically incorrect as it points to a difference in brain function which in turn could lead to scientists trying to pinpoint a Gay Gene which in turn could lead to people wanting their babies tested for being gay before they are born.

I don't care. I know I am right. And the BBC agrees with me.

Scans see 'gay brain differences'

The scientist who conducted the research said:

As far as I'm concerned there is no argument any more - if you are gay, you are born gay. The brain network which determines what sexual orientation actually 'orients' towards is similar between gay men and straight women, and between gay women and straight men. This makes sense given that gay men have a sexual preference which is like that of women in general, that is, preferring men, and vice versa for lesbian women.

So now what for the religious fundies who claim being gay is a lifestyle choice? What is going to happen now that science proves gays are 'the way God has made them', rather than a bunch of freaks who chose a sinful path in life? Oh, let me guess. They are going to ignore it, as they do with everything that does not fit in heir narrow minded view of the world.

So I shall leave you with the Feel Good Moment of the Day. In California today, gays could get married. One of the first couples to tie the know were Del (89) and Phyllis (84). Don't they look sweet? Imagine: when one of them dies, finally, the other can stay in the house they probably bought together. I just don't see why people insist on denyingg loving couples such basic human rights.

13 June 2008

Brigitte Kaandorp in England

When I was young, I was 'a fan' of Brigitte Kaandorp, a Dutch comedian. Her style is not dissimilar to Eddie Izzard in the sense that it looks like she is just talking random stuff, jumping from one spontaneous thought to the the next when in fact it is all carefully scripted. Her image is one of slightly clumsy, endearing and unexpectedly funny. Her strength is in taking an every day situation and looking at it in such detail that the audience can really recognize themselves in it and laugh at themselves.

I used to imitate her and sing her songs at parties & memorize entire shows and recount them to amuse others. Apparently talk just like her and sometimes when I was babbling too much, people would say: "Hey Brigitte, that's enough now."

What's this got to do with England? Well, in the office, being a design agency and thus all cool and trendy, most people work with their headphones on, listening to music on their computer. We can also control the music on the office stereo by logging on to the network and playing music from our computer on the stereo. Every once so often, we do a little round robin with a theme. Yesterday, everyone was to play the one song they have played the most on their computer in the past week, be it on the stereo or on their headphones. I had just recently downloaded a song by Brigitte Kaandorp and that was my most played tune. So when my turn came to play my Most Played Song, I played "Het komt allemaal wel weer goed" (see video below). And to my amazement, one of the guys said: are you sure that is not you singing. She sounds just like you.

Wow. I never speak Dutch in the office, they don't speak Dutch and yet they can hear, when somebody is singing, that her voice sounds a lot like mine. Maybe it really is true then...

12 June 2008

Lucky escape. Twice!

This week, I think the Higher Power was trying to send me a message. Twice I managed to escape a traffic ticket.

First, I went through a red light. A police car in the lane next to me also went through but, to be fair, his light really was amber. Mine was kind of red. Just. However, the police car turned left and I went straight on so when the police realised that I must have gone through a red light if I managed to get through after him, he had already turned left. In my mirror I could see him stop his car and look out of his window at my car. he realised he would not be able to turn around and catch me so I escaped! Phew. I already have 3 points on my license, which drives up the cost of car insurance. I just misjudged the light. It happens. Mind you, I did pull in to a hidden parking area and waited for 5 minutes, in case the cops decided to come after me after all.

Today I was in town and I just had to nip out of the car for 2 minutes so I made a calculation that I would not need to pay for my parking. I scanned the street for a parking attendant and saw one at the very end of the street. Thinking I would be back before he could reach my end of the street, I left the car. Of course I misjudged again and when I returned to my car, he got out his little parking-ticket machine and started to write a ticket. I smiled at him and said: Busted, you beat me to it. He said: Well, not yet because it takes me 5 minutes to write this ticket so if you move it before I finish, I'll let you off.

Nice man. Anyone think I will get a third chance or should I take the hints: Don't break the law!

11 June 2008

Mud phobia pig gets its own boots

On the BBC website today, the story of Cinders, a piglet so afraid of mud that she has been given her own wellies. That makes me smile in that sweet, gooey way. Aaaaahhhh.

The pig farmer has said there was no chance that Cinders would be slaughtered.

"She's more of a pet really now and she's going to live a very long and happy life," he said.

The young saddleback has been chosen by the couple as a mascot for their campaign to raise money for the Farm Crisis Network, which supports struggling farmers.

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10 June 2008

Covered in Bees!

"Hello there, you in the street.
You're new, aren't you?"


"Er... Do you want a cup of coffee?
It's no problem."

- (Droning)
- "No real problem."

"I don't want a cup of coffee from you,
you're covered in bees."

"I like my women like I like my coffee -

"covered in bees.

From Eddie Izzard's fabulous show Glorious where he discusses bee keeping. Shoppers in Northampton today got more than they bargained for when a massive swarm of bees landed on a market stall. No flower sales for this poor man. I got out my phone and took a few shots.

09 June 2008

Euro 2008: I am ready!

Bring on Italy, France & Romania. I know who the winner is going to be: Holland (or rather: The Netherlands). Even if we don't win Euro 2008, Dutch fans, dressed in bright orange, will be the moral winners. As usual.

Hup Holland!

08 June 2008

River Song and other weekend pleasures

In days long gone, I was as good as addicted to medical drama ER. Of course it was mainly for the great storylines, not for any of the rather good looking women on the show (Maura Tierney, Elizabeth Mitchell). One of my favorites back then was uncerimoniously sacked for being too old: Alex Kingston. How little do producers know about what is too old or not attractive enough!!

This weekend I had the pleasure of seeing Alex Kingston again in Doctor Who, playing River Song, a mysterious scientist who may or may not be married to The Doctor in the future. And of course she still looks totally hot. Maybe it is the curly hair (see Elizabeth Mitchell) or perhaps the red hair, but Alex looks great, waving her Sonic Screwdriver around! You go girl.

JD and I booked our ferry to France for our holiday in September. Yay! Looking forward to it already. On Saturday morning, I took a few moments to think of what could have been if Hillary Clinton had managed to win the Democratic nomination. Her 'farewell speech' was dead on. From now on, it will not be remarkable to think of a woman as presidential nominee and that is truly remarkable. Please, let the USA elect Obama in November!

06 June 2008


is it childish to get really angry with work mates who leave mess in the kitchen in the office? It is my job to keep the office tidy but please, we are all adults, right? How hard is it to wash your mug instead of putting it in the sink and say 'oh, I was going to do that later' (and then not do it of course). One of them even said to me that it irritated them how much I go on about it and then sat down, instead of actually putting his stuff away.
And so today, as a punishment for leaving dishes in the sink etc, the kitchen is out of bounds for everyone. Not my decision but the director's. But who gets the looks and discussions about how unfair this is on those who do clean their stuff? Me of course. Because I am the snitch, the teacher's pet, the one who runs to the boss to tell on the naughty people.

Well I am done with that. Fuck them. If I wanted children I would get pregnant, not take a job in an office.
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