Bunny who?

Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk

Slowly but surely...

19 May 2009

Things are indeed getting better I feel. Maybe the fact that JD's hair is now growing back in earnest makes me feel very hopeful of this all being over someday soon. I love touching the fuzzy hair on her head and stroking it. Last night we went to a rugby tournament that we both play in over the summer (Touch Rugby so no need to worry) and the girls in the team (who had not seen JD for a week or so) all said: Wow! Your hair is really growing back fast now. It made me smile. It will be a long time before JD will be back to the way she was before the treatment started. She looked a little confused and slow to react sometimes but she said she was really enjoying herself so that was great. Maybe the tactical talk we had before the match helped her.

In touch rugby, there are only 6 players on the pitch and they have no specific task and decisions on what to do with the ball are made in a split second; exactly the thing JD is struggling with at the moment. So I suggested that instead of doing that, JD should be the only player with only 1 specific task on the pitch so she could focus on that one thing. So all the players on the team knew what JD would and wouldn't do.

It seems that worked really well and JD played quite well.

We are getting her a free bus pass because last week her driving licence was revoked due to having had radiation to the brain and some focal minor seizures. It is the right decision but it made JD quite upset. The emotional impact of loss of independence is something that can not be underestimated. It is different if YOU make the choice not to drive. It is not nice when you are told you are unfit to drive.

But things are getting better. Slowly. But surely. The only thing to find now is: how far does the progress go and when will any permanent damage become obvious if there is any?


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Julie said...

Not damage: not permanent damage, but rather, change. Think of it as permanent change, and it will be easier for you both to cope with.

All of that sounds really good. Just the fact that she played sent that little blood shock through my veins. That is sooo good.

Yes, the licence being revoked is a pain, but at least YOU recognise it as being the right thing for now. My father got really really angry with me when I suggested that he return his licence. I had to go the guilt trip route eventually. Then about 2 months after that, he owned the decision and to this day considers it a wise decision that he alone made for the good of others on the road.

This is a nice post: I can feel the soft duckling-down on her head as you write.

I am off to 4 days of Sydney Writers' Festival in an hour or so. Bloody pissing down though, it will be ... grrr ...

Dutchcloggie said...

JD has not been driving since November, by her own choice, since she had a minor seizure. Since the radiation has wreaked havoc with her concentration, she felt unfit to drive anyway so it was her choice. I was very proud of her for not being stubborn and choosing to be safe instead. But when others tell you you are unfit, it is not nice.

I guess for elderly people like your father, it is more painful as you know it is something you will never get back. Just another thing that you lose.

Enjoy the Writer's Festival. I know it's something you will love! Have fun.

Julie said...

Well that puts it in a different light. That is so good that Jane made that decision off her own bat. Many people would not, as you know. I guess that is why the official decision was made - to allow for those stubborn people who don't recognise their own limitations.

Is that msg on twitter about YOUR mother breaking her leg? I can not get my head around twitter and who is saying what.

One of the talks at the SWF today was about neuroplasticity and the concept of use-it-or-lose-it. It is more complex than that, he says. It is no good just continuing on to do the things that you have always done: reading, gardening, theatre, opera, walking. It is absolutely crucial that one carves NEW pathways in the brain: learn a language, take a degree. Skills that are a challenge for you and which you are no good at. Groan ...

Dutchcloggie said...

Yep. That's my mother.

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