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Waiting game

28 May 2011

JD is no longer opening her eyes. Don't know if she is asleep all the time or unconscious. This is the cruellest of waiting games.

I have lived in the hospice for more than a week now, unable to go home at night, just in case something happens. And of course, nothing happens. I put the folding bed next to JD every night. In the morning, I go home for a quick shower and breakfast. I am concerned the hospice staff will by now think I am weird and in their way. They say they don't of course.

I have a sneaking suspicion JD will die as soon as I go away. Maybe I should leave for a night. That might encourage her to let go.

1 comments:

Julie said...

Firstly, you are not wierd, and you are not in their way. And yes, the wait is interminable. My guess is she has entered coma. I sat beside him, and talked and sang, and slept. It was only the final night that I stayed all night - with my computer. Other than that, I went 3 times a day for 2 hours each time. I got a sign 15 minutes from death. His breathing pattern changed. Old people tend to die when the circadian rhythms are at the low point (5am/5pm). This may not apply to young people.

(( M ))

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