25 June 2011

Never again...

... you calling me "liefie"
... calling my lover "Liefie" without thinking that is really your word
... Crowded House in the car
... 2 croissants and a soft boiled egg on a Sunday
... baking bread and eating cheese and F1 Sundays

Never again...
... flying kites on the beach
... the Doc Martin box set
... fencing on Thursday
... "How was Uni today?"

Never again...
... staying in bed all day watching TV
... camping and bitching about the rain and cold nights
... to Holland
... "You look beautiful today"
... on a snow trip

Suddenly I have to learn to like doing the things we did together on my own. But I never watched F1 before we met. I never went on snow trips. I never went camping. I never flew a kite, because you taught me on that trip to Vlieland. I never sang harmonies in the car with my wife.

So not only have I lost you, I also lost so many of the things I learned to love. I loved them because I did them with you.

Even if I ever do any of that again, I will never be able to enjoy them as much as I did with you. Because I will always think of you when I do them. And then I will remember why I am not doing them with you anymore.


  1. Just found your blog, originally the one you kept for Jane. I was recently diagnosed with an astrocytoma. It helped me to read your journey, as you wrote in one of your posts you hoped it might. Just wanted you to know it did.

    Keep calm & carry on

  2. Just wanted to let you know I'm still reading and thinking of you.