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Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


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Moving house or Do you need a lodger?

08 September 2011

After a day of hard thinking, I have decided I need to move house. I have been looking for work but it is fair to say there is nothing much out there for someone who has not worked for a year and needs more than the minimum wage.

I have spent a lot of money when Jane was alive because I did not want to refuse her anything that she might want and I probably have spent too much since her death. My excuse is that I was grieving and deserved the holiday, nice food and time with friends. I am really crap with money (ADHD-related) and have very poor impulse control (ADHD related). Jane always helped me to control this. But now, with no Jane and no medication, I have failed quite dramatically at budgetting and living within my means (although what is 'within your means' when you have no income, just outgoings?)

So it is time to get back to work because I am going through my savings at quite a speed. Savings I will need when I am a student again next year.

If I was to find a nice room to rent, I could more than half my costs. Yes there would be virtually no space for me but on the other hand, I would have people around me which I would enjoy. It would be a massive step back but if I am going to be a student, I will have to accept this anyway. And once my costs are reduced, I can simply take a job that pays the bills.

Having looked around online, I have noticed quite a few nice shared houses for professionals that I am interested in.

This is all brought on by the fact that I am about to sign a new 6 month contract for my current flat and if I can not afford this, I shouldn't sign for 6 months but go on a monthly rolling contract instead. Then I can look for a room without the pressure of being on the street soon.

I wish I could talk this over with someone (read: Jane). Why does this only come to me in the evening when I can't call people.

The thing that concerns me most is the fact that all those rooms are furnished. Where will I be able to store virtually the entire contents of my house for months? For free? Once I am a student again, I shall hopefully have a student loan to help me pay the bills.

I am seeing Jane's mother tomorrow. She has a large yard with storage. Maybe she can help?

Anyone have any suggestions? Or a room to let?


tammy wheat said...

If you don't mind coming to the States, I could let you a room for nothing....except maybe you could do the yard work, that I hate so much :-)

jo said...

this is the third time Ive tried to respond - so getting frustrated and message may be a bit curt.

I am pretty much in the same situation as you. If you want to do nursing in Nottingham (big teaching hospital) I have a spare room you could rent at a nominal cost. Colleagues and friends are nurses. Storage may be a bit of a problem and I dont want to encourage you to move away from friends - but think about it. I'm not looking for anything, just trying to show a bit of compassion and practical support to someone in the same situation as myself. Offer is genuine.
Dont know much about this blog stuff and no idea how to contact you privately. Could you somehow let me know on your blog.
best wishes

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