Bunny who?

Why? Who? What's this blog about? It's about MEEEE!

Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow

Astrocytoma

About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk
 

Moved

05 October 2011

After Saturday's rather emotional outpouring of confusion, time for an update about my move.

On Sunday, I moved in to my new room. After living in a house and flat with Jane, moving back into a single room is a huge adjustment. My friends K & R came over on Sunday to help. As it turned out they were needed mostly for emotional support and to keep me from losing my mind. I was running around, achieving nothing until K said: Right. What am I actually supposed to be DOING here?

I took them to my new room and asked them to have a think of what furniture they thought I should take. They both decided the studybed would fit just fine, that it was just me having a complete panic. I ordered the bed yesterday. The last time I spent that amount of money was when I booked a trip for 2 to Stockholm in Februari! Geez.

In the end, the room looks ok. If I were a student, I would be pretty chuffed with a room like mine. But I am not a student. I am 36. And all I have to show for 8 years with Jane is a rise/recline chair and a handful of photographs. That's what is so hard. I look around my new room and think: This is what I have left? Yes I have stored some things at friends: camping gear, snowboard stuff, our double bed. But most things are more expensive to store than they would be to buy new. So logically, it makes sense to just sell them and replace them later. I am now a proper EBayer :)

My new place is nice enough. Here is a video.




My landlady, who is quite nice, also lives in the house. She is doing the refurbishments all by herself. And since she is as chaotic as I am, she is working on everything at the same time. Since I would really like her to finish the second bathroom first, I volunteered to paint the kitchen, just so that it would not distract her.

I enjoyed painting the first part yesterday. Today I am paintinting the ceiling.

It keeps me busy and gives me a feeling of actually accomplishing something.

Yes the room is small. Yes it is a step back. But at least I have people to talk to on a regular basis. I am not worried about being able to pay the rent.

There are good things about this.

Just wish I could show Jane how things are going.

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