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Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow

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End of Life care

06 February 2012

Back in April last year, Jane went in to hospital after a seizure. 4 days later she came out again and a complete care package had been put in place over the weekend. I wrote about that in a post entitled Hurrah for the NHS.

Jane and me watching TV shortly after she
came home from the hospital in April 2011.
Jane was lucky enough to be part of a pilot project in Northamptonshire for End of Life care that enables people to stay in their own home in the last 8 weeks of their lives. With this project, a Rapid Response Team of nurses and Health Care Assistants was available in addition to special end of life carers 4 times per day. The carers and nurses were fantastic. Their help made me feel supported and calm. Well, as much as possible. It made the difference between being able to handle things and being totally traumatised by the weight of all the decisions.

Life moves in mysterious ways.

On Wednesday, I will become part of their team.

I will admit it is probably partly therapeutic for me. After all, nobody but me and those people know exactly what things were like in Jane's last few weeks. They were there with me. They were there for me and I will be forever grateful to them.

But it is more than that. I really believe my experience can help others. And that I owe it to Jane and myself to try and give others that same feeling I had: You are not alone. We are here to help. We understand what you are going through.

I suppose I might struggle at times. I am especially concerned about possibly being faced with a young couple in a similar situation as we were. But I am also reassured by the fact that the people who took me on are aware of my past. And they are still prepared to give me a chance.

I will repay their faith in me.

Bring it on.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello,
i am a lesbian widow of 16 months. My partner died of brain cancer but they never knew what kind. From diagnosis to death was 10 months. this Sat would be our 29th anniversary. I am having a rough time with the silence and the grief. Possible to talk here???
Thanks for posting, Lynnsey

Anonymous said...

Congratulations - I assume this is part of the program you're enrolled in and your placement?

JL in GR

terryd said...

This sounds therapeutic and fitting. But I hope it doesn't replace your plan for higher education.

Dutchcloggie said...

This is not part of any placement if program. It's a regular job that I applied for. I will work until I start my Nursing degree in September.

Lynnsey, I am so sorry for your loss. Of course you can leave your comments here or just vent if it makes you feel better. Just remember it is a public place where everyone can see what you write.

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