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Being a Widow

My experience of dealing with grief as a widow


About Jane's brain tumour journey: Astrocytoma.co.uk

A widow's dilemma

24 April 2013

When JD died, many people did not know what to say. Many people were very kind but many people kind of faded away. But everyone I knew at least got in touch and, for a while anyway, did their best to let me know that they were thinking of me or of JD and that they too were missing her. I understand that I was always gong to lose some friends and gain some unexpected new ones. I know that I may not have been as supportive as I could have been to some of my friends.


Pretty soon I will be in the same place as a person who used to be a friend of JD and me but from who I have not heard a SINGLE WORD since the day JD died. Nothing. Apart from a Facebook message on the day of JD's death. But nothing since then. I don't even think this person came to JD's funeral.  If they did, I did not notice them. I genuinely can not remember seeing them.

Either way, it made me angry at the time. And it is making me a bit angry again now. Should I have contacted this person? I was not very close friends but still, we went on holiday together a few times.

How should I behave when I see this person again? Pretend all is well? Let them know I was/am very angry? Should I let it go after nearly 2 years? I do not care to re-kindle a friendship with this person so I am not looking to repair relationships. I am simply looking for suggestions as to how to approach this person.



terryd said...

death is like divorce. you have to weed out the people who are worth your time. Share your feelings, nicely, and if you don't like the reaction, buh-bye. imho. I personally would not let it go, cuz people matter.

Libra said...

Before you jump to conclusions, find out THEIR side of the story first. It may just be that they did not know how to handle the situation when it happened. After that, over times it gets harder and harder to reastablish the contact. People tend to leave it that way.
If it's supposed to stay a friendship, it will be, no matter after how long.

Good luck.

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